What's on your mind?
"Enjoying my hot cup of coffee while snuggled on the couch watching the rain fall melodically. It's so nice and relaxing. I just love mornings when I have quiet time with my Bible, Jesus, and my coffee!" (insert smiley face, heart, cross, umbrella and coffee mug emoticon.)
Reading this, one would think my morning is quiet, quaint, and perfect. It's definitely a "highlight reel." I could just take a snapshot of my coffee mug, my feet propped up on the coffee table and the raindrops on the window. Maybe light a couple candles, make sure my Bible is in the picture...because, you know, I'm a Christian. I read it every morning.
But here's the thing. If I had been totally, 100% real, this is what I would have written instead:
I am sitting here drinking my freshly brewed cup of coffee, between moments of being interrupted because my three year old can't seem to do anything without my help or me being near him. As I am gazing out the window at the rain, I am thinking about how peaceful being in a rain forest would be right about now, because I have just dealt with two major temper tantrums and it's not even eight o clock in the morning! So far I have dealt with a melt down (someone wanted cookies for breakfast), a fight over who sings louder, and tears from hands being sticky. I have dished out medicine because two out of three kids are not feeling well, and I have panicked, thinking that I forgot to put the trash on the curb. I went to bed last night thinking about how my life should be in a much better place by now (I'm 30 for crying out loud!!), because only deep thoughts happen at night when I get a moment of quiet to think about life's major problems. I fell asleep, only to wake up to enjoying my cup of coffee in between real life. The thought to spike my coffee, actually occurred, and this morning, I have yet to dive into my Bible reading. In fact, I probably won't get around to it this morning. (Gasp!) I did pray; I prayed that my kids would behave today and that I would make it through this day. I prayed for my husband's safety. As a pilot's wife, I worry a lot for him, but I've learned that praying is a lot easier and nicer than losing my mind over it. Lately, prayer has become my source of sanity...and my coffee is cold now.
Phew! Can anyone relate??
I mean, that isn't what we want people to see or hear, but why? Why has real life become so taboo to portray on social media? I get not wanting to see someone always complaining and always being negative about their life; it's not something I want to see everyday, but what about the hardships, the struggles, the low times we sometimes have? What about the tantrums, the meltdowns, the spilled milk, the sticky hands, the disappointments, the hard stuff?? It's become too easy to mask and cover what really happens with the right adjectives. A few warm, cozy words. Just the right lighting at just the right angle to get just the right picture.
It's really funny, I used to get SO mad at my husband for pulling out the video camera when the kids were being rotten and throwing a tantrum or fighting over something. I would think, "I am not going to want to look back at this!! What is the point? Is he trying to embarrass them?" Then one day, I watched something he had recorded when the boys were just little things and were having a little fight. There was crying, pushing (as hard as babies can push each other), and then there was my husband standing there watching it happen for just a couple minutes, capturing their sinful nature; their struggle with one another and wanting to be first. And I realized that I actually like watching everything he records now, because it's us. It's real. Regardless of what it is, whether or not I want other people to see it, or whatever, it's our reality. Struggling to raise children together, and taking on everything that goes with that. Realizing that our children have so far to go, that we have so far to go as parents. And that I have so far to go as a wife and a mother. But, it's also the reminder of how far they have come, and how far we have come. Because in the midst of the not-so-perfect reel, every once in awhile, there is a great highlight reel that we capture. When the kids are dancing together, playing quietly together, reading books together, or when I do have a morning free of interruptions. Those are the times that stand out because they don't always happen.
But why mask everything?? Why mask the real stuff? Here's a thought: instead of posting your "highlight" reel, post your real highlights. Including everything--the nitty-gritty, hard-to-swallow, everyday stuff that comes with life. That doesn't mean you have to post it all the time all over social media (I would encourage you not to!). But I know that every once in awhile, seeing other moms do what we do in reality--ie.the daily grind--would be encouraging for me.
So, what's on my mind? Some mornings I am able to sit and quietly enjoy my coffee without interruptions and without it getting cold. But today is just not that day, and I'm not going to pretend that it is. Because some "highlight reels" should just be real.
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